I’ve been weary about talking about my chronic illness on my blog as I saw this as a form of escapism but whats really helped me through these last few years is hearing other peoples experiences and coping strategies. This blog is about self discovery mainly through creativity whether that be fashion or crafting. But I haven’t touched upon why I have embarked on this journey. I thought 2023 is time to share more of my journey with chronic illness and mental health which will hopefully help others and also be a log for myself on this journey.
The last few years have been really stressful for most people. There has been so much change but one thing everyone can agree on is that things certainly did slow down in 2020 and it finally felt for me that I wasn’t playing catch up.
Since 2018 I was experiencing horrendous pains and lot of chronic fatigue. There were many many trips to A&E and to the Dr’s but no one was taking chronic illness seriously. I didn’t get a proper diagnosis till Summer this year so for 4 years I have been fighting to get people to believe me. But getting a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia in 2022 during a NHS crisis is not great either. I left the specialists with a leaflet and have been left to deal with it, only having fb groups for support and help. Dr appointments are near by impossible to access and would have to wait hours and hours if I ever decided I wanted to go A&E.
I have been trying to manage my health on my own and with it being so up and down sometimes it does get me down when I simply have to change plans and spend a day in bed.
The loss of control over my whole life has been difficult for me and the feelings of being a burden do weigh me down because without my loved ones and my partner who knows where I will be.
At the moment I’m at a crossroads, trying to move forward with my life and have a pathway but it does come with a huge overwhelming feeling. Day to day I have no idea how I will feel, and taking away a lot of safety blankets this year 2023 is scary. I’m super vigilant about what is going to make me ill, if I eat the wrong things, over exert myself or become too stressed.
Packing some of my crochet and knitting materials was like packing my armour ready for a war. OK, I know its not that dramatic, but these changes are truly making me feel vulnerable and it does feel like going over the edge into the unknown. But with my crafting supplies it does give me a sense of relief and is also very grounding in bringing my hobbies that give me so much peace that no one can take away. These changes are so necessary, very scary but I’m looking forward to not trapping myself in a bubble and challenging myself on this new journey of discovery. I’m excited to share this journey with you and I hope this inspires others who are living with chronic illness and mental health issues to embark on their own journeys and claiming back their lives through creativity.
Has crafting helped you in difficult times? Let me know in the comments below.