Up until last year I thought that everyone was battling severe low self esteem throughout their life times but after going on my self healing journey I realised this wasn’t true. I knew they everyone was built differently but I also thought that everyone was constantly battling with a voice that was telling them they aren’t good enough to achieve much. I realise we all have a negative voice sometimes but I feel like mine is so ingrained that I never pursue my passions have no self belief.
Finding my path
From a young age I wanted to be an artist, but I wasn’t talented at drawing. Perhaps I wanted to be an artist because that is what my older sister said. Then I wanted to be a fashion designer (this was actually my own dream) but back then I didn’t know how that would happen because all I was seeing was these exclusive brands and to be honest the fashion industry didn’t look appealing at all. This was the mid 2000’s so there was no diversity, I didn’t have the self belief or self esteem to see myself in those spaces.
Embracing my passions
It wasn’t until last year 2022 when I really started to embrace my passions. I really found a love for crochet, crafts and was started to really enjoy blogging. I think what made me truly enjoy all these things was because I wasn’t putting so much pressure on myself and really enjoyed the process of the projects. Even if some were not that enjoyable as others it didn’t put me off completely. Thats when I realised that these passions aligned with me on a deep level.
A form of Escape
When I was really immersed in a crochet project or crafting something I forgot the troubles in my life and this was really significant because I was dealing with my Chronic illness flaring up last year which also had an affect on my mental health.
Taking back control of my life
When anxiety, depression and chronic illness took over my life I found myself at my wits end. I developed agoraphobia and I didn’t leave my area for a long time. Everything felt overwhelming and I felt I had no control over anything. Today things are a lot better but its still difficult for me, I still feel I having got a hold of my life for someone my age. I feel very behind and my healing journey seems like an up hill battle, however being creative puts me in a flow where I have that control over something and I can surrender to myself. When your life doesn’t feel like its flowing and theres constant barriers creativity is really freeing.
I’m excited for my future projects, I’m gaining inspiration from many places and ideas are flowing. Creativity is helping me with overcome a lot ingrained negative thought patterns that I have developed and is also helping to release them in a way that feels so natural and calming to me.
Have you felt that creativity has helped you in this way? Or do you have any tips on using creativity to overcome negativity? Let me know in comments below.
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