Through my healing journey I have been reflecting on my past and looking at how I felt about myself and my self image over the years. I remember always wanting a boyfriend and didn’t always quite make having a boyfriend around Valentines day. I thought having a boyfriend was the ultimate source of validation, I mean for someone to choose to be with me romantically? That was my dream. It really shows how low I thought of myself.
I had no sense of self.
The validation didn’t even fill that void, I guess at the time I thought having a partner would make me feel complete or maybe run away from myself. It was easier to think about someone else and their needs rather than concentrate on myself and doing some soul searching. To be honest I didn’t even know how and where to start with going on a healing journey. Hun this was the 2010’s in the height of my mental health decline and my “peak” as I saw it as I was in my 20’s. No one hardly spoke about mental health and going against the status quo wasn’t really the thing.
I call the 2010’s the decade of basic.
Fashion was meh, no was questioning much about the system we were all pushed into without realising and mental health was still quite hush hush. So I did spend those “peak” years trying to having a partner who would send me flowers on Valentines day so I would finally and ultimately feel loved.
But I really was forgetting about myself.
Fast forward to this year 2023: I bought my supplies to make these cards a couple of weeks ago but I delayed making them. I haven’t done crafts with paper for a long time. I did make a pop up Valentines card for my partner last year but I remember not specifically enjoying the process. Throughout the last few years of being together I made sure that I made something for him each year and he even made me a card for my birthday last year (he isn’t fussed about cards) so I was happy my craftiness was rubbing off onto him. This year I wasn’t sure about what sort of design I wanted to do and felt daunted by the tutorials online. So I put it off and Valentines day is tomorrow and I am currently writing his at 10pm the night before.
However a couple of days ago I did an inner child meditation (I’m on a journey of healing and using creativity to help me with this) and it really moved me. The video guides you to imagine hugging your younger self and talking to them. It also guides you to talk to your future self who gives you wisdom to not give up and keep going. That’s when I got the idea to make Valentine’s cards to my past and future self. I enjoyed the process of making them and find it quite meditative. It felt nice acknowledging these versions of me as they are all me and can help present time me.
This really was a form of self care.
I also wrote letters to my past and future self which really did make me feel connected to myself even more. Here is what I wrote and it may inspire you to do something similar or to speak to your inner child.
Dear little one,
It’s me, your future self, writing to you with all the love and warmth in my heart. I know that right now, you may feel like you don’t measure up or that you’re not good enough. But I want you to know that nothing could be further from the truth. You are amazing just the way you are, and I want you to believe in yourself and your abilities.
I remember those days when you felt like you didn’t fit in and like nobody understood you. It wasn’t easy, but I want you to know that you made it through those tough times. And today, I am so proud of the person you have become. You are strong, brave, and full of kindness and love. Your ability to care for others and make them feel valued is one of your greatest gifts.
Never forget that you are loved, not just by those around you but by yourself too. And as you grow and mature, your self-love will grow stronger and stronger. You will learn to appreciate your unique qualities and talents, and to use them to make a positive impact on the world.
I want you to know that you are capable of great things. You have the power to achieve your dreams and make a difference in the lives of those around you. Just believe in yourself, take risks, and never give up. I promise you, the future is bright and full of endless possibilities.
Always remember that you are loved, valued, and worthy. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. And when you need a reminder of this, just think back to this letter and know that I will always be here for you, cheering you on and believing in you.
With all my love, Your present self.
I also wrote one to future self.
My dear present self,
It’s me, your future self, writing to you from the future. I hope this letter finds you well and that you’re taking care of yourself. I know that life can be tough and that you may be facing some challenges right now, but I want you to know that everything will be okay. The hard times are just temporary, and I’m here to tell you that it will all be worth it in the end.
I want you to know that you are worthy and that you have the strength and resilience to make it through anything that comes your way. You have already overcome so much and have proven to yourself that you are capable of handling life’s toughest moments. And as you continue to grow and evolve, you will become even stronger and more confident in yourself.
Never forget how amazing and talented you are. Your unique qualities and strengths are what make you who you are, and they will serve you well as you navigate through life. And when you feel like giving up, just remember that you have the power within you to keep going. You are a fighter and a survivor, and you will overcome anything that stands in your way.
In the future, you will look back on these times with a sense of pride and accomplishment. You will see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown, and you will know that it was all worth it. So keep going, keep fighting, and never give up on yourself.
With all my love, Your future self.
It’s been really soothing to speak to all aspects of myself from various times. It is a true reminder every stage of ourselves is us and showing ourselves compassion, the past, present and future is real self love.
Have you sent Valentines day cards to yourself or wrote letters to yourself? How did it make you feel?
Lissy xoxo
Introvert in Wonderland 