As I got up from my desk I leaned on it to hoist myself up as my leg had gone to sleep, however the whole desk nearly gave way. I had forgotten that I had trained myself not to move my desk too much as I hadn’t assembled this Ikea desk properly, along with my drawers where one doesn’t close fully and the side cabinet where the door is misaligned.
I was never good at following instructions and I had to try really hard to make sure I didn’t make mistakes.
I realised I had ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) . I haven’t got an official diagnosis but I am working on getting that through the NHS. Self diagnosis now is really helping m manage my life a lot more and not feel so much confusion, guilt and shame about not quite feeling like or doing things like everyone else.
I have been aware of the boom of people saying they have ADHD since TikTok has become more popular over the last few years and I guess that stopped me from looking into more. I didn’t really consume that much ADHD content on that social media platform, it was from following ADHD accounts on Twitter that made the penny drop for me. And still that took a while for me to look into it more. Also a lot of women have found out they have ADHD and that was another factor why I flew under the radar and why people to this day still can’t quite grasp me a non outwardly hyperactive and subdued person claims to have ADHD.
At first I thought I had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) but that term was phased out. ADD was a term used in the past to describe a subtype of ADHD that primarily involved symptoms of inattention without the presence of hyperactivity or impulsivity. I certainly am impulsive and until recently I became aware that I have hyperactivity.
Individuals with the ADHD can exhibit a range of symptoms that may include inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. Three subtypes of ADHD was introduced: predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive, and combined type.
I discovered that I was falling into the Inattentive ADHD subtype.
You might be wondering how creativity helped me with my ADHD diagnosis. It was definitely through delving into more of my passions that I started to see that I was struggling with certain things. At the beginning of the post I mentioned that I found it hard to follow instructions, well I knew this but I never gave it too much thought, I put it down to just not focusing enough because I usually found those tasks boring. But when it came to crochet I came to see it would take me a while to get the hang of something. I was quite careless in my mistakes or so it seemed and as I crocheted more and more I leant into my way of learning more and my frustrations weren’t there so much. I actually had compassion for myself and worked around challenges.
Recognizing my ADHD has really eased my anxiety and also how I approach being creative. I feel I have addressed that weird feeling that there is something holding me back and have a new sense of freedom in my creative flow.
Are you neurodivergent? How has this effected your creativity? Or do you suspect you’re neurodivergent? Lets discuss in the comments below.
Leave a Reply